Sober Bunny

What do you get for the friend or relative in rehab who has everything? (Okay, so they don’t really have anything because they pissed it all away in pursuit of their habit). How about Sober Bunny? Sober Bunny detests all fermented beverages and is the perfect Easter gift for the recovering (or not yet recovering) alcoholic in your life.

Sober Bunny was born out of sheer boredom and the following excerpt from a phone conversation I had today with a close friend who is away in rehab. (I’ll call him “Dumbass” to protect his anonymity--it’s a term of endearment. I swear!):

Me: Guess what?
Dumbass: What?
Me: Everyone loved the bunnies I made for my graduation today. (Referring to the 14 bunnies I made for the members of my therapy group and counselors).
Dumbass: Why didn’t you make me one? (Please notice that I did not receive a congratulations).
Me: Because you already have one, dumbass! (Referring to the first Love Bunny I ever made which he took with him to rehab).
Dumbass: Just f***ing with you!

Hopefully the facility my friend is in uses X-rays to screen their mail for contraband because I would be devastated if Sober Bunny gets destuffed! I predict a similar phone conversation to follow:

Dumbass: I love Sober Bunny and so did my friend, Dipshit! He wants to know if you can make a Crack is Wack Bunny.
Me (Thinking): Google Image = “crack pipe.”