Dear Drunken Redneck Outside My Window

Dear Drunken Redneck Outside My Window,

Why in the hell are you outside my window at 4:23 a.m.? And why do you find it necessary to speak at the top of your lungs in a falsetto voice? At first I thought you were looking for your cat ("here kitty kitty!," "here Snowbird!"), but now I'm not so sure you even know what in the hell you're talking about ("hey darlin', hey darlin', hey darlin'!").

Your accent is annoying enough in itself, but the addition of the falsetto tone is especially hard to take. Do you realize I've been listening to your incoherent babble for the past hour as have the other dozens of people whose windows you're lurking outside of in this cramped residential neighborhood? They were most likely sleeping, dear drunken redneck, but I am awake and I've been listening to you for an hour now.

I thought about calling the police, but I don't want to waste my early morning hours talking to an officer, or making the unnecessary call to 911: "What's your emergency?" "There is a drunken redneck lurking outside of my window speaking loudly in a falsetto voice." "We'll send out an officer." (Time elapses, another hour, maybe two). The falsetto voice keeps on. Dear drunken redneck, be glad I do not own a firearm. (Please just pass out already!)

Your pal,

Sheer Boredom

I made an animated gif out of the Dead:Cute MiKit that JMKit made for me. I couldn't sleep and I was bored.

Insomnia = ATC Overload!

I just joined a new swap on Cut Out + Keep this evening in the midst of my current bout of insomnia. It's an ATC (Artist Trading Cards) swap where the participant sends 9 ATC's to another participant. The send out date is not until the 29th, but I've already completed 6 cards! I'm freakin' addicted! I'm not sure who my partner is going to be yet, so I can't post pictures just in case he or she happens to be a reader of this blog. However, I will give hints about the themes of my 6 cards (robots, zombies, Alice in Wonderland, nursery rhymes, Spring, and office supplies). I used traditional playing cards as the base for my ATC's. I'm so excited because this is an ongoing swap! Since I'm new to this swap I have to create 9 cards, while the veterans of the swap make and send out 5 new cards in addition to 4 of the cards they've already received (unless they don't want to give them up then they create the difference). Check out these awesome cards created by Schnaasi and sent to Dani in the first round!

A Nun Plushie for Allie

Allie is my niece who will be 2 on July 4th. For some odd reason she has an obsession with nuns. (See this blog post for a little background). Well I had insomnia again last night and early this morning I decided to search for "nuns" on Etsy. I found a nun plushie that I liked, but it cost 10 bucks and there was no way I was paying so much for something so small. My friend, Sugarlishes, who made my new pet monster immediately came to mind. She has a knack for making plushies, so I decided to ask her if she could commission one for me for less than $10. I sent her the picture of the $10 nun earlier today and she just posted the above pictured nun in her Etsy store
maybe 10 minutes ago! Needless to say, I immediately fell in love with this nun plushie and snatched it out of her store (even though it was a reserve listing for moi). I know that Allie will absolutely go nuts over it! Thanks again, Sug, for creating something wonderful! You rock!

Insomnia Has Struck Again!

I haven't slept in 48 hours. This happened to me last week, too. I am literally sick and tired. I need to get out of bed and get to work, but I have no motivation. Why does this always happen to me?

Katie and Patrick's Baby Shower Gift?

Christine Renee's Version

In no way am I implying that Katie is going to give birth to a zombie child! This is the perfect gift for Katie and her husband, Patrick, and I had to find an occasion. Christmas has passed and it just doesn't seem Valentine appropriate (not that it's baby shower appropriate either). When Katie and Patrick are bored, they create scenarios regarding how they would survive a zombie attack. One slow day at work, Katie introduced me to this game and it rocks! So beware, zombies, I know where every impaling implement is in my office and I'm not afraid to use them! I made a rudimentary version of this book out of card stock, brads, and notebook paper. Yes, I have lost my mind and Katie will most definitely make me well aware of this when she receives her gift today.